follow up to my last post

Thanks so everyone to commented or left messages about my last, rambling post. Remind me not to open tumblr when I’m drinking wine.

Let me just say that we have been debating this one for awhile. We are leaning towards having another, but sometimes I wonder what’s so bad about having just one. I hear the sibling argument, and I get it. I LOVED having older brothers even though they were half brothers and 5-7 years older. We hung out a lot and played together, etc.

However, I also know how hard it was for my parents. Those years weren’t easy for them. Kids are hard work and as an adult, I can now see all the other factors that go into the decision.

There is so much more to think about for us. We don’t live by any of our family, so we have no help. We would also have to eventually sell our house, because while it would work for a few years, it just would not be big enough for two growing kids. We are also not comfortable with the Philadelphia public school district and can’t afford private school for one kid, let alone two.

Oh, and the cost of daycare (which is hard to swing now for one) as well as after school care after they start school, summer camp, etc, because there is no way we can afford to have another kid and me not work. We are doing ok financially, but it would definitely be harder with two. I don’t know how a lot of people do it.

Then, there are selfish reasons: my running, my photography business, wanting to travel, marital strain with another kid, etc. People may think I’m being selfish for considering these things, but I think they should be considered. It is my life, after all. I love Q more than life itself, but eventually she will be off on her own and after that, Jeremy and I need to make sure we have made the right decisions together that will affect the rest of our lives. I have seen quite a few marriages crumble under the pressure of having children. Of course, I think we would be fine, but I’m sure those other families did too.

And there is the fact that I must be a freak of female nature because I seriously have no desire to go through pregnancy again. I just don’t have the “baby fever” that all you other women keep talking about. Sometimes, I just wish someone would hand me a 6 month old who was already gestated, born, nursed and sleeping through the night, so I can just skip all that stuff. That seems reasonable, right?

Of course, these are decisions that any family goes through when figuring out if they want to expand their family. I know we’re no different. Somehow, putting it all out there seems to make it easier to digest.

I love the idea of Quinn having a sibling, I really do. I also love the idea of her being an only child and being really close with us, traveling the world with us, us being able to help her with things she needs or wants because financially, it would be easier, etc. (By the way, I know a ton of very well-adjusted, non-spoiled, only children, so that argument means nothing to me). I know that once we make the decision one way or another, we will be fine with it. Until then, I’ll just keep drinking wine and debating in my head.

Of course, as my friend Mark pointed out, drinking wine is usually how baby number 2 comes along anyway. So yeah, we’ll see.